It's The Real Thing
"It's The Real Thing" is a mini-story that is part of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series. The Story Tapper had called Empath, Papa Smurf, and Duncan McSmurf into his tavern to show off something he had created. "Taste this seltzer and tell me what you smurf of it," Tapper said, as he offered each of the Smurfs a glass. All three tasted the seltzer. "Hmmm, it's very interesting, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "But what is it called?" "Vino says that this is a syrup called cola, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "It has a very distinct flavor from all the other seltzers that I have smurfed in this tavern." "Aye, it's certainly different from the flavor of sarsaparilla ale, laddie," Duncan McSmurf said as he finished his glass. "You're hoping that this flavor of syrup would catch on with the other Smurfs in the village, Tapper?" Empath asked. "Well, at the very least Vino is hoping it would, my fellow Empath," Tapper said. "As for me, this is something that I haven't smurfed before, but who knows, with the Almighty willing, this might be something to serve to my fellow Smurfs besides the usual sarsaparilla ale, particularly to Hefty." "This smurf understands Hefty's intolerance for fermented drinks, Tapper," Empath said. "This smurf just isn't sure whether he is willing to try out something like this." "But does this even have a name yet, Tapper?" Duncan asked. "I was just thinking of calling it Smurf Cola, that's all," Tapper said. "I may have Scribbler smurf me a logo to advertise the drink when it becomes popular enough, but right now it needs to be tested first." "Well, I can only wish you the best of luck with this new-flavored seltzer of yours, Tapper," Papa Smurf said as the three Smurfs left the tavern. "Thank you for letting us try it out." "You're welcome, Papa Smurf," Tapper said, as he took the empty glasses and watched the other Smurfs leave. ----- That night at the tavern, Empath and Smurfette watched as the Smurfs tried out the new flavor of seltzer that Tapper was offering, with Smurfette also trying it out for herself. "You think this new Smurf Cola is going to smurf on with the other Smurfs, Empath?" Smurfette asked. "Right now this smurf senses that none of the Smurfs present seem to have any complaints about the flavor, Smurfette," Empath said. "Why, what do you think of it?" "Well, all I can say is that it's interesting, Empath," Smurfette said. "But you'd prefer something with a bit more flavor to it, is that correct?" Empath guessed. Smurfette nodded. "I guess I'm just not a big fan of this Smurf Cola, Empath. I'm not saying that it's bad or anything, but maybe Tapper or Vino can smurf something to the taste of the seltzer." "Maybe when it becomes successful enough, Tapper might think of experimenting with other flavors to add to the seltzer, Smurfette," Empath said. By the end of the night, after the tavern had closed, Empath, Smurfette, and Duncan McSmurf had gathered around Tapper. "So how did the testing of this new seltzer smurf for you, laddie?" Duncan asked. "I had just run out of the cola syrup, my fellow Smurfs, because that's what I have been smurfing all night around here," Tapper said. "I haven't had a customer that even once asked for something else besides the cola." "This smurf has sensed the feeling that every Smurf in the tavern either enjoyed it or at least found it interesting enough to ask for more glasses of it, Tapper," Empath said. "So that means that you'll be smurfing this seltzer from now on, right, Tapper?" Smurfette asked. "I won't stop serving the other flavors of seltzer, Smurfette, but I can't ignore the fact that my fellow Smurfs will want to smurf more of the Smurf Cola," Tapper said. "I might as well tell Scribbler to smurf me a logo for the product to advertise it as being smurfed in my tavern." "Why just have it only smurfed in your tavern, Tapper?" Duncan suggested. "If Handy can smurf you a machine that would smurf this thing in bottles, then every Smurf would be smurfing this cola whenever they want to." "Hmmm, a mass-produced Smurf Cola," Tapper said, thinking to himself. "You know, that wouldn't smurf like a bad idea at that." "Do you think you can smurf other kinds of flavors into this cola, Tapper?" Smurfette asked. "Other kinds of flavor?" Tapper said. "Well, I don't see why not, although I would like to smurf the original flavor be more successful first before trying others out." Empath smiled. "It looks like this will be a really successful product, Tapper." ----- And so in a few days, Scribbler had advertisements for Tapper's new seltzer product, Smurf Cola, published throughout the entire village with its stylized logo and its slogan "It's The Real Thing" printed on the advertisements. And with Handy's new machine for filling up bottles with the new seltzer, Smurfs began seeing it more often around the village and also drinking it more often. Papa Smurf had just finished a bottle of Smurf Cola when he was watching his little Smurfs also going about enjoying their bottles as well. He never thought that such a drink would end up being this much of a success. Empath noticed, however, that Greedy drank lots of the diet brand of Smurf Cola with his big meals, and asked him why he does that. "You know, a Smurf like me's got to watch his figure," he honestly said. The Smurflings found something amusing to do with Smurf Cola. "Watch what I smurf with this mint when I smurf it into a bottle of Smurf Cola," Snappy said as he held a mint in his hand and dropped it into the bottle. Suddenly the soda inside the bottle erupted into a foamy volcano that spurted out from the bottle's opening. "Wow, that's just smurftastic," Slouchy said. "I wonder why Greedy didn't find this out first, since he's the one who smurfs up the candies," Nat said. "Who knows?" Sassette said. "Maybe there's something in the mints that, when smurfed in with the ingredients of Smurf Cola, cause this thing to happen." There were less savory things going on with the soda as well. A few Smurfs decided to hold a burping contest to see who would burp the loudest and the longest from drinking so much Smurf Cola. Nabby won the contest by having the loudest and longest burp of all. "Ewwww, that's just so disgusting," Smurfette said with great distaste after watching the contest. "This smurf agrees with you, Smurfette," Empath said. "Maybe this whole thing of Smurf Cola is getting a little too out of hand with our fellow Smurfs." "Hey, Nabby, what's the secret of your victory?" Snappy asked in private. "Me, I just smurf a bit of these Pop Rocks candy in my mouth, swallow it, and then guzzle down some bottles of Smurf Cola, and then let her smurf," Nabby answered. "Uh, isn't that supposed to be dangerous?" Slouchy asked. "Yeah, we heard that a mixture of Smurf Cola and Pop Rocks is supposed to make your insides explode from all that carbonation," Nat added. "Oh, come on, Smurflings, you can't believe those folk tales," Nabby said before letting out another burp. "I may be incredibly gassy right now, but I tell you, I feel really smurfy." Then suddenly, the Smurflings watched Nabby's stomach briefly expand itself, causing Nabby to clutch his stomach before letting out another big burp. "Oooh, now that really hurts," he groaned. Trivia * The eruption of a mint inside a bottle of Smurf Cola is based on the popular eruption that occurs when inserting a Mentos mint candy into a bottle of Diet Coke. Category:Empath the Luckiest Smurf stories Category:Mini-stories Category:VicGeorge2K9's articles